Thinking……

It is much easier to say people are different that actually acknowledging the fact. My motto in life has always been ‘treating people the way I want to be treated’ and that is causing some philosophical problems for me.

Even if people are different, I believe, there are certain thing e.g behaviors in life that remains constant in every human. My personal experience with friendship has put me in some sort of dilemma as I question the essence of friendship and my assumed open-mindedness.

“doing that sounds okay to you?”

“yeah, why”

“cause i find it ridiculous and disappointing”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, that just the way I am…..I do the same thing with other friends!”

“and they have no problem with that?”

“no, everybody is different and that’s me”

“okay, right……….!”

what happens when what you seem to think is open knowledge in reference to friendship is actually not open at all? do you reevaluate or just forget the friendship? asking for a friend!

One and the Other

When men stop believing in God, it isn’t that they then believe in nothing: they believe in everything.

UMBERTO ECO, Foucault’s Pendulum

There is one and the other,

but the one is the other.

It is known that the one created

the other

Hence, the other is part of the one.

Yet, there are tales of believes in the one

but not the other.

In fact, the believe in the one is stronger

than the believe in the other.

It is best to know that there is the other in everyone of us,

but the one keeps us from the other.

Knowing the one and the other, brings understanding to chaos.

Unfinished

I know the sag of the unfinished poem. And I know the release of the poem that is finished.
Mary Oliver

Usually, before I come up with a story to write or plan, it first begins with a conversation in my head. It could be a conversation between two or more people, and the content of this conversation would eventual be the base of the whole story. The rest of the story is then built around the conversation. I would admit that sometimes the story hits a deadlock and other times it just flourishes, anyway here is one of those conversations.

boy, where do I start….I still haven’t found what I was looking for, but the feeling is still there. That nudge toward peaceful emptiness. The ‘it’ that you can sense it coming, but doesn’t seem to ever arrive. I feel….no, I know something is coming, might not be bad but not entirely good either.

“you need to quit with the drinking” she said to me for the hundredth time

“hey, leave me just this one vice, every man needs to be weak to something else they ain’t human.” I think to myself, our weakness is the very essence of humanity, else we would be like animals who maul’s it fellow animal with little or no remorse….”at least I don’t do drugs ehnn…”

she just stared at me without saying a word, cause her weakness is a weight she rather carry herself.

Glorious Chaos

Ever felt at peace right in the middle of chaos? like feeling some sort of calmness or out-of-body experience while a group of people argue around you? I have and I gotta tell ya, its glorious!

Took a short flight recently, and the turbulence was very persistence. I was getting really scared and i though to myself….”If this plane is gonna plunge, might as well not hear it happen”, so i said a quick prayer, plugged my headphones in with the volume at its peak. I closed my eyes and listened to “Sweet Nothing by Florence & machine ft Calvin Harris” while I awaited my impending death. I could feel the non-ending shaking of the plane, but my head space was stellar!  The mixture of fear and peace was such a glorious nuance even if it was in the mist of chaos.

btw so happy to be writing again!

Hazy

You can’t see clearly if you don’t stop crying.

It’s 2:00am, and am still up,

happens most times, so am not surprised.

It getting more frequent, and am getting worried!

every time I close my eyes, I play the same scene

over and over.

The weird part of this mess,

It hasn’t happened yet.

I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t know this people.

Am I to blame for this disaster to come, I wonder.

Oxygen reminds me of what’s to come.

Start

Woke up, took a shower.

Dressed up, pampered the object of attraction.

Today is the day, am going to do it!

Reflection in the mirror looks good, deceiving, but let’s ignore it.

Made breakfast, had breakfast.

Wore shoes,

alright, this is it. I am strong!

They are just words, nothing else to them.

Hands on knob, open door…..

Stand and stare for a while,

thinking…, how the mind works in magical ways.

 

Mansion

Come with me, hide with me, together we escape, pretend we’re somewhere else.

Temple One & katty Heath;

I built a mansion, just around the corner of my sanity.

Each brick, molded precisely to match every memory ever made.

No shadows, silhouettes, or presence permitted, I declared.

Then I heard it.

 

A soft knock on the door, prompting me to open the door, open my soul, my heart, but I can’t.

It going to spill out, all the memories, the pain, joy, hope, despair.

Especially hope, a terrible gift to loss;

Flood me like the wave of a wicked tide

 

“go away, private sanity” I say! no reply,

just a soft thump that create a rhyme in my heart.

Of fear? of peace? Still unknown.

A thump to remind me there is a world outside,

Av’ lived it. Hence, my mansion

The feeling between fear and love will never have a place in my mansion, I promise.

It still goes on.

What I Learn

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.

 -Colette

 

I will smile,

Whatever it takes to fool this town

I will give everything I have,

But my freedom

 

As I grew up,

My problems aged as well

The story of the poor boy on the news

Was another tale of c’est la vie!

 

I will learn, I promise

Perfect is the enemy of good, they say

I put it out of my mind,

Long enough to call it courage

 

I will believe, I promise

How rare and beautiful it is

That I exist,

That’s the chorus to my song.