Dark Hollow

Help! Help! am drowning,

In the violent sea of the promises you never made

you bore me yet you buried me with every breath

your footstep, a dirge to my fragile heart

My heartbeat sycophants with thy footstep as you welcome your presence

the one picture of me smiling is a dream in it’s making

this look of sadness bares no resemblance to the dark hole in the chest you hollowed

It started like a movie with no hopes for a happy ending, then made the nightly news

The scenes play out in slow motion  in my head everyday

I don’t know how to fast forward, if I did, I would memorize it

The sheep she led me to wants more than I can speak

If I see a bright light I promise I will follow.

I though the hell was never-ending so I took to my wrist

turns out you were right I am a coward indeed!

tracks meet in your car and complicates my plans for you

even then, your memories like spiked torn in my being

the part you played in reforming my silhouette is the best of your effort

I don’t know what your truth is, if I did I would bury it

Someone, tell me what happened after the first shot

I don’t remember any of it, don’t want to, but tell me

I wish I was innocent in a bad way but I found that i am reticent in my own strength

I wish this heart could bleed out right

I won’t fight it, fight how rare and beautiful it is to merely exist.

 

 

 

 

 

Outlaws

I would say love your flaws, and

live for your mistakes if they weren’t coming

If i wasn’t comatose in pain

baby, Run

They found the evidence

My love, Run

Because they saw the evidence you didn’t bother to hide

Run,

because your pride is a demon in disguise

And my love is a true example of broken glass

Run, my pride

For, when it is all done i will still be out here waiting to be outlaws

There are no winners when the die is cast.

 

Author

Do not mistake my quite for dunce

for every second a new thought is formed

in my brain, it is stored

yes, just twist the dagger in a little more

as I moan in pain, I refuse to satisfy you with my tears

just a little air Oh just a tiny space

in there, a method to my madness

draft, review, finalize, and publish it all in your honor

they call it revenge but I call it Revenge

the author of your pain, will I be

and trust me I know how it ends

I wrote the book.

 

 

 

Void

Like a swirling black hole

that turns into a hallucination

It sucks, and just keeps sucking

It demands, outrageous but committing

It presence, yielding yet terminable

the feeling, melancholy yet content

we all have that thing, they say

that reduces us to nothing when offered

slaves to our needs

yet, you judge me for mine

I know, i know what i have

don’t try to understand my void, if you don’t know the story

 

 

Fairy-tail Evils: Dark Matters 05

 

She turned around once more just to be sure no one was trying to get her attention, but everything seemed fine so she kept walking. It lunch hour and the traffic is tremendous, with different decibel of people honking in the background.

The weather is hot and humid and the side-walk is too rowdy for comfort with people walking too close and bodies touching each other. This is the special part of the day that she hated being outside. She never liked people touching her ever since…. NO! she promised herself she wasn’t going to think about that time of her life.

Suddenly, she felt someone pull her with her cloth from behind and whispered

“Hello love” she gasped. That voice, she could recognize it even while passed-out (she would probably wake up immediately).

She stopped in her track as the people behind her ran into her, they grumbled a complain, but kept walking anyway.

She was swiftly pulled to the side. Frozen, and in shock she stood still , and very aware of him behind her, close, really close that she could feel the heat of his breath on her neck as he spoke directly to her ears.

“That pretty face of yours always does my head in” he whispered

“I cant help myself, can I?” he said slowly, and very heated.

off he went.

She remained frozen in that spot for God knows how long.

the Damned

We signed our name on the face of history upon our birth

our eyes were well acquainted with darkness

until the brutal interruption of light

a demon in disguiseperhaps the light itself,

Next, we put our faith on a faceless existence, but still in doubt

we have barely caught a glimpse of what it all means

before the consequences of the in-between

shattered our knees.

no winners, when the die is cast.

Turning page

As she kept going on and on about her friend and some other things that I unconsciously drown out. I was deaf to her words, at that point I remember that I had bills to pay before it gets due. Ooh, and don’t forget to reply mum’s text before she calls…..maybe I should order pizza, cause I don’t want to do any the dishes….I still have to go-

“D, what do you think i should do?” she asked .

It turns out, I missed a huge part of the conversation. Am definitely not a good listener; there is just something about story’s.

Fairytale evils: Dark matter 01

As she walked by a group of women sitting in front of their house she contemplated greeting them, but she knew that if she ignored them it will make it worse, so she greeted. With her knee bent halfway to the ground as a sign of respect in her culture; she said,

“e ka aro (Good morning )”

She knew what was coming next. She should be used to this by now, but it still hurts.

“Umhn,  Aje (witch)” was the reply, followed by whisper of insults that trailed behind her.

She kept walking, mauling on why she even bother with this people, but that will be the least of her problems on such beautiful day.

SUCH! Effect

IT’S NOT ABOUT SELF-IMPROVEMENT;ITS ABOUT EARNING APPROVAL AND ACCEPTANCE

I cannot further stress how much I hate my job but I find myself working hard when certain responsibilities are placed on me. Most people live with the delusion that they don’t need people approval, but i will be the first to rid myself of such lie.

I was at work busy with a batch of assignment, at that moment my boss needed a different batch done ASAP. She came straight to my station to give it to me, but she saw I was already busy with an important batch whereas the person behind me was not. she asked what was the name of the person  behind my station, I replied, after which she said “I don’t trust him, I will leave this here, when you are done with that please complete this.”

This really surprised me, because the batch she gave me should be out of the building by 2:30pm, and the time was 1:40pm. It takes about 30 mins to get a batch done, PLUS I was already busy with an important batch.  Although I got both batches out in due time, but this made me realize that when a responsibility is placed upon you, you do not want to disappoint. Like I said, I hate my job and I could careless on what goes out at the right time, but there is something about being giving a responsibility; especially when the person absolutely believes you can do it. Brent brown said, and I quote

“Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it not about self-improvement; it’s about earning approval and acceptance.” 

Set your comfort zone ablaze!!

Am as shy as they come, and I very much prefer writing than speaking. Recently, I have come to the awful realization that life does not give-two-flying-fuck on what you think suits you best. With such realization, I have consciously decided that if I ever have a choice between situations, I would pick the one that is most uncomfortable,and embrace a faux pas.