Grace and Choice

I haven’t understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it.
Igor Stravinsky

I will tell you what works for me when everything just seems overwhelming.

Music!

The powers of music is so underrated until you actually feel the effect on a deeper level. I can firmly say it surpasses the effect of meditation. Close your eyes, make it loud and just listen. Just flow into its rhythms and let it sip into your soul after which you come out restored.

Its almost like a warning sign for me. Once I start feeling the need to listen to slow, almost sad, reflective music I know i need to take a deep breath and regroup before it dives into a depressive state. So, I do just that!, I let go, close my eyes, have the volume up and just listen to the likes of Mumford and Sons, Bon Iver, Andrew Belle, Sleeping at last etc. It takes a while, but after that I find the extra strength to dot my l’s

If you haven’t tried it, you should!

Unfinished

I know the sag of the unfinished poem. And I know the release of the poem that is finished.
Mary Oliver

Usually, before I come up with a story to write or plan, it first begins with a conversation in my head. It could be a conversation between two or more people, and the content of this conversation would eventual be the base of the whole story. The rest of the story is then built around the conversation. I would admit that sometimes the story hits a deadlock and other times it just flourishes, anyway here is one of those conversations.

boy, where do I start….I still haven’t found what I was looking for, but the feeling is still there. That nudge toward peaceful emptiness. The ‘it’ that you can sense it coming, but doesn’t seem to ever arrive. I feel….no, I know something is coming, might not be bad but not entirely good either.

“you need to quit with the drinking” she said to me for the hundredth time

“hey, leave me just this one vice, every man needs to be weak to something else they ain’t human.” I think to myself, our weakness is the very essence of humanity, else we would be like animals who maul’s it fellow animal with little or no remorse….”at least I don’t do drugs ehnn…”

she just stared at me without saying a word, cause her weakness is a weight she rather carry herself.

Glorious Chaos

Ever felt at peace right in the middle of chaos? like feeling some sort of calmness or out-of-body experience while a group of people argue around you? I have and I gotta tell ya, its glorious!

Took a short flight recently, and the turbulence was very persistence. I was getting really scared and i though to myself….”If this plane is gonna plunge, might as well not hear it happen”, so i said a quick prayer, plugged my headphones in with the volume at its peak. I closed my eyes and listened to “Sweet Nothing by Florence & machine ft Calvin Harris” while I awaited my impending death. I could feel the non-ending shaking of the plane, but my head space was stellar!  The mixture of fear and peace was such a glorious nuance even if it was in the mist of chaos.

btw so happy to be writing again!