Mantle

I can’t believe that I can’t believe it!

Dancing to my tune of rejection

Wrapped up in my dissonance

That I somehow ignored my insignificance

Now, I know am only passing through

Hurts, cause I made in you a mantle

In my uneventful life…had it almost.

Now I do believe am only passing through

What to say and what I really mean

“Imagine them, Compare to you”

Am I over thinking things again?

Will I gain courage for the truth?

Maybe, cause where my heart is there is never a home.

Am I making a molehill?

I think I wanna be alone now!

Middle Ground

“I never liked the middle ground-the most boring place in the world.”

Louise Berliawsky Nevelson

I have fallen in love with the middle ground

my soul paid the price,

not by choice, I must say

the pressure of just being.

I reckon, I have heard someone say “the middle is the best.

The safest, at-least

right?!

What a coward I have become,

twisting the definition of brave to liberate myself.

Hoping some positives comes from this chaos,

thank God for small miracles, and move on.

Some people have it worse, I hear

So, be thankful for the middle ground.

Ahh, damn it

damn it all to hell, am taking that step

Am holding a banner for me,

its upside down, but look past that

as i peacefully wait to be pulled swiftly,

right into the dissonance.

Easily overlooked!

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.” 

― Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Say what you wish, but i am yet to meet a human who does not feel some time of emotion once remarked.

Hell, there is a whole industry that banks on the continuous feelings that people get from remarks. Our ever-loving—soul sucking—but still worth-it social media platform.

Even our very own wordpress blog strives on remarks, hence the need to get more follower, likes, comment etc.

Am writing this now only because the realization just dawned on me. For a very long time I was one of those who vehemently believed I didn’t care what anyone remarks was about me until I began consciously writing and increasing my social media presence. Every like’s and comment i got was like an imaginary tap on my back telling me “you have done good”, which is ridiculous but very true.

P.S Ever tried letting out a quick scream while driving? you should….very therapeutic!

Okay…

Alright, took me a while, but I have come to the conclusion that we are indeed in control of our happiness, but it takes maximum effort and dedication. A dedication that I am currently struggling with but nevertheless striving towards!

‘Happiness is free’ everyone says, but it’s so hard to garner the strength when there are several thought going through your head….but I cannot stress how important it is to push on and eventually make yourself happy, cause no else would do that for you as every one have their own problems to deal with.

P.S I am thinking of picking up photography🤔…….especially nature types, more people gotta appreciation our fine earth!✌️

Grace and Choice

I haven’t understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it.
Igor Stravinsky

I will tell you what works for me when everything just seems overwhelming.

Music!

The powers of music is so underrated until you actually feel the effect on a deeper level. I can firmly say it surpasses the effect of meditation. Close your eyes, make it loud and just listen. Just flow into its rhythms and let it sip into your soul after which you come out restored.

Its almost like a warning sign for me. Once I start feeling the need to listen to slow, almost sad, reflective music I know i need to take a deep breath and regroup before it dives into a depressive state. So, I do just that!, I let go, close my eyes, have the volume up and just listen to the likes of Mumford and Sons, Bon Iver, Andrew Belle, Sleeping at last etc. It takes a while, but after that I find the extra strength to dot my l’s

If you haven’t tried it, you should!

Hazy

You can’t see clearly if you don’t stop crying.

It’s 2:00am, and am still up,

happens most times, so am not surprised.

It getting more frequent, and am getting worried!

every time I close my eyes, I play the same scene

over and over.

The weird part of this mess,

It hasn’t happened yet.

I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t know this people.

Am I to blame for this disaster to come, I wonder.

Oxygen reminds me of what’s to come.