Coming from a country where depression is regarded as having a lazy mind, and expressing your feelings is a sign of weakness. Hoarding once feelings has become the order of the day. Seriously! a psychiatrist is practically non-existent, and bipolar is referred to as an excuse to be crazy. Being dyslexia is not a condition, as long as they are concerned there are no reason why you shouldn’t be able to write or spell as fast as the next guy. I have never heard my parents proclaim their love for each other, neither have I myself made it vocal that I love them until recently. Not from lack of said feelings, but there is no one to take such cue from.

It would be correct to assume that i am bad at expression my feelings…except anger, of course! I have heard people talk about writing down your feelings and I have called bullshit on it on so many occasions that i might choke on my word if  “Eating your own word” was literal.

Anyway my dad utterly pissed me off, and i couldn’t do anything about it….because well! his is my dad! I eventually ended up writing what i thought about him and the situation down, and as I was poring out my anger onto the pages, with every nasty word i wrote down I felt much, much better. It is very relieving and I absolutely reckon it to be a great self-help therapy. Write shit down, and shred it  right before you leave, because i don’t think you would want anyone seeing it.

 

 

I love you from the bottom of my heart, and I will do anything for you, hello feeling.

 So, it’s a new year, and I see a lot of celebration. I don’t see the big deal to it. It is like any other day to me. I remember when I use to get all hyped about the holidays, write out my new year resolution, and make promises to myself which I don’t keep.

Don’t misjudge me. Am not angry at the world, am just tired of hearing people give their self’s unreasonable and unreachable goal, thereby setting themselves up for failure.

Call it maturity, but now I have just one resolution plan to reach in 2016. This new year I will make every effort to be the best I can be, and make my best better to the point that if I was not me, I will love to be me. I suggest you do that to.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Just another busy day of work. While  I was talking to a friend of mine I looked at her closely, and she started to look unfamiliar. Have you ever try to spell a word, and it just sounds so wrong? You repeat it over and over again, and the more you repeat the more flawed it sounds. You eventually get a dictionary or do some research, and you found out that you have spelled it right all this while.

I don’t know what the effect is called, but it happened to me today. While I was talking to this particular friend I started seeing her in a different confusing way, almost unrecognizable, and it got me thinking if she also had such episode before and what she thought of me during them.

I would like to know what people think of me when they look at me. I wish there was a way you can switch minds without switching the body.  I don’t need this normalcy to intrude into someone thought, i just want to be able to see myself through someone else’s perspective, but in my own standards. Sure, you could ask people what they think of you, but some might be honest with you, and some might sugarcoat your disposition. There is a lot of uncertainty in that sentence.

I want to know, if I was not me, would I want to be me. I am aware no one is perfect, but it will be good to know you are doing something right. I heard someone said ” If you have haters, that means you are doing something right”  I understand the philosophy, but I don’t necessary agree with it.

Just for jokes, imagine if it was normal to switch minds without changing  the body, and people do it all the time. If your mind was in someone else’s body, and the persons body needs to use the restroom. AWKWARD!

please indulge my spur of rubbish for a while.

The effect of utter tiredness and boredom that I can’t escape because of this old routine they call a job, had me thinking of way to gives my self a little calming space, after working ten hard heavy boxes lifting hours every day, just one minute of pronounced silence was of utmost importance.
  I closed my ears tightly with my fingers for a minute, like a spoilt child who is being lectured by her parents. ohh the wonderful nothing of silence, the awesome sound of your beating heart, the inane feeling of seeing moving lips but hearing nothing.
   It was a blast while it lasted, then I let go and for a few nanoseconds I heard unfamiliar airy sound which was being overthrown by the loud voice of machines and people, But That really helped my sanity for the day.  
  If your having a bad day just have a moment of silence, there must be a reason why its done for dead folks. Just saying!!       

dq

Any one remember the i35w bridge collapse over Mississippi River, you probably don’t, but if you do, u would realize that the news was all about the school bus at least for the most part….nobody every remembered the school bus driver. Most cases that involves a school bus, the drivers are mostly irrelevant.

---

http://scontent-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xfa1/v/t42.1790-2/10459679_10152598822429292_980578317_n.mp4?oh=318f059d10175766513c0e3a2e968d7f&oe=55008EC2

dq

First blog, should be fun