You should have known

Doing the right thing is a decision, which in many cases means you stand alone.
Sebastian Kurz

Ever went in so deep,

and fell so fast?

Then I took my leave,

I waited outside

now they all have questions in their gaze

I took it, and it was right!

The thrill of making a decision,

a decision they will never know about.

If I know one thing, is I cannot just be a peach.

Something gotta ease my mind.

I know my weakness but i have an armor now.

Middle Ground

“I never liked the middle ground-the most boring place in the world.”

Louise Berliawsky Nevelson

I have fallen in love with the middle ground

my soul paid the price,

not by choice, I must say

the pressure of just being.

I reckon, I have heard someone say “the middle is the best.

The safest, at-least

right?!

What a coward I have become,

twisting the definition of brave to liberate myself.

Hoping some positives comes from this chaos,

thank God for small miracles, and move on.

Some people have it worse, I hear

So, be thankful for the middle ground.

Ahh, damn it

damn it all to hell, am taking that step

Am holding a banner for me,

its upside down, but look past that

as i peacefully wait to be pulled swiftly,

right into the dissonance.

One and the Other

When men stop believing in God, it isn’t that they then believe in nothing: they believe in everything.

UMBERTO ECO, Foucault’s Pendulum

There is one and the other,

but the one is the other.

It is known that the one created

the other

Hence, the other is part of the one.

Yet, there are tales of believes in the one

but not the other.

In fact, the believe in the one is stronger

than the believe in the other.

It is best to know that there is the other in everyone of us,

but the one keeps us from the other.

Knowing the one and the other, brings understanding to chaos.

Hazy

You can’t see clearly if you don’t stop crying.

It’s 2:00am, and am still up,

happens most times, so am not surprised.

It getting more frequent, and am getting worried!

every time I close my eyes, I play the same scene

over and over.

The weird part of this mess,

It hasn’t happened yet.

I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t know this people.

Am I to blame for this disaster to come, I wonder.

Oxygen reminds me of what’s to come.

Start

Woke up, took a shower.

Dressed up, pampered the object of attraction.

Today is the day, am going to do it!

Reflection in the mirror looks good, deceiving, but let’s ignore it.

Made breakfast, had breakfast.

Wore shoes,

alright, this is it. I am strong!

They are just words, nothing else to them.

Hands on knob, open door…..

Stand and stare for a while,

thinking…, how the mind works in magical ways.

 

Mansion

Come with me, hide with me, together we escape, pretend we’re somewhere else.

Temple One & katty Heath;

I built a mansion, just around the corner of my sanity.

Each brick, molded precisely to match every memory ever made.

No shadows, silhouettes, or presence permitted, I declared.

Then I heard it.

 

A soft knock on the door, prompting me to open the door, open my soul, my heart, but I can’t.

It going to spill out, all the memories, the pain, joy, hope, despair.

Especially hope, a terrible gift to loss;

Flood me like the wave of a wicked tide

 

“go away, private sanity” I say! no reply,

just a soft thump that create a rhyme in my heart.

Of fear? of peace? Still unknown.

A thump to remind me there is a world outside,

Av’ lived it. Hence, my mansion

The feeling between fear and love will never have a place in my mansion, I promise.

It still goes on.

What I Learn

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.

 -Colette

 

I will smile,

Whatever it takes to fool this town

I will give everything I have,

But my freedom

 

As I grew up,

My problems aged as well

The story of the poor boy on the news

Was another tale of c’est la vie!

 

I will learn, I promise

Perfect is the enemy of good, they say

I put it out of my mind,

Long enough to call it courage

 

I will believe, I promise

How rare and beautiful it is

That I exist,

That’s the chorus to my song.

Resistance

we squandered our resistance,

for a pocket full of mumbled promises

only hearing what we want to hear,

and disregard the rest.

Our story seldom told,

Till one day we had enough

we break patterns and breakdown

dig, dig, and dig

as we swear out revolution to the earth

to reclaim promises once made

Better to burn out than fade way, we proclaimed.

‘bon courage’, they hailed

uncertain of the part ahead, we march on.

God damn, and God bless for small favors.