Mansion

Come with me, hide with me, together we escape, pretend we’re somewhere else.

Temple One & katty Heath;

I built a mansion, just around the corner of my sanity.

Each brick, molded precisely to match every memory ever made.

No shadows, silhouettes, or presence permitted, I declared.

Then I heard it.

 

A soft knock on the door, prompting me to open the door, open my soul, my heart, but I can’t.

It going to spill out, all the memories, the pain, joy, hope, despair.

Especially hope, a terrible gift to loss;

Flood me like the wave of a wicked tide

 

“go away, private sanity” I say! no reply,

just a soft thump that create a rhyme in my heart.

Of fear? of peace? Still unknown.

A thump to remind me there is a world outside,

Av’ lived it. Hence, my mansion

The feeling between fear and love will never have a place in my mansion, I promise.

It still goes on.

What I Learn

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.

 -Colette

 

I will smile,

Whatever it takes to fool this town

I will give everything I have,

But my freedom

 

As I grew up,

My problems aged as well

The story of the poor boy on the news

Was another tale of c’est la vie!

 

I will learn, I promise

Perfect is the enemy of good, they say

I put it out of my mind,

Long enough to call it courage

 

I will believe, I promise

How rare and beautiful it is

That I exist,

That’s the chorus to my song.

Resistance

we squandered our resistance,

for a pocket full of mumbled promises

only hearing what we want to hear,

and disregard the rest.

Our story seldom told,

Till one day we had enough

we break patterns and breakdown

dig, dig, and dig

as we swear out revolution to the earth

to reclaim promises once made

Better to burn out than fade way, we proclaimed.

‘bon courage’, they hailed

uncertain of the part ahead, we march on.

God damn, and God bless for small favors.

 

 

Given Odds

Unfairness is everywhere.
Parvathy

As the leaves lay on the ground

all hope crushed beyond recognition,

they bear no resemblance

to the blossoming sunshine they once were seasons past.

betrayed by trees that once held their hope.

Who are you to lay your burden on another man

to place such hardened guilt on a heavy soul

You forget, his’ just a man like you

If you can’t shine bright, what are the odds he will shine brighter

like the tree and the leaves, man wither’s away

in your very presence

whilst you place blame’s

Have you tried pulling apart the darkness?

when does personal responsibility comes into play,

your mistake, is thinking the world owe’s you for your contributions.

when in reality, your heirlooms and theirs are uneven odds.

HOME; Making Friends

Every new friend is a new adventure….the start of more memories.
Patrick Lindsay.

As soon as I walked out of my last class for the day, I saw Carol and ‘the dolls’. I was immediately reminded to called my dad to further discuss my new-found idea of living off campus, but I had to go get lunch first because my stomach was not having this new diet streak of having water for breakfast. I turned the other direction to avoid tea parties, talk, but unfortunately my feet weren’t fast enough.

“Hey, grace”. Carol hollered.

“Heyyy…..Carol” I replied, trying to seem like I didn’t see her while walking out of the class. 

“Where you going..” she playfully sang.

“Am just going to get lunch” I really didn’t want her hearing my conversation with my dad.

“Cool, i was going to eat too.”

“What about your friends.” I pointed to the girls talking behind her.

“I just meet them in my class, not really friends”

“Don’t you wanna get to know them. You know, make new friends.”

“No, they were being mean to the prof, and kept talking about shoes and stuff.”

“You talk about shoes too.”

“Yeah but not that much.”

“Whatever let’s go.” I guess she was tagging along.

We got to the cafeteria which I have to admit is really impressive. It has four stations; Heal; the healthy food section., Dill Strauser; the burger joint, Castrol; the fancy place where chef’s make the food, and Express; The any-kind-of-drink you want place. This is one of the many cafeterias in the school. We went to Heal to get some salad from the salad bar, and I choose a spot at the back so I could talk without being disturbed, or being the disturbance.

“You only had peppers in your salad, that’s weird” Carol observed.

“I got some cucumbers too”

“No cheese, tomatoes or eggs.”

“She refused to melt the cheese, so lemme alone.”

“Who eats salad with melted cheese?”

“I think you mean people should eat salad with melted cheese.” I smiled. We ate our launch, and just chatted about new people in our classes for a while.

“I need to talk to my dad about getting a room off campus.” I conversed.

“What! why do you want to leave the dorm? Is it because of me? ”

“What! No! I just don’t like it. The walls are thin, and I have loud nightmares.” I said with a matter-of-fact face without realizing what i was saying. I do that sometimes, i just blunt out the first thing that comes to mind without giving it more thought.

“Oh.” she said quietly as she looked at me weirdly. Good, I though to myself, now you can stop trying to be my friends…..am all kinds of weird.

“O ooh, we can go apartment shopping together!” she announced cheerfully. I exhaled heavily. I guess this one is sticking.

“Probably, I have to talk to my dad first though.”

“yeah, of cos!.

**NOTE**

Remember to always have headphone on, so you can pretend you don’t hear people calling.

Give me a mention

Give me a mention, please.

This is the starting of my greatest

the still air, like we are frozen in time

and every sound a loud echo.

Holding my breath,

his walking, step of confident exhumes him.

One after the other. How? I ask myself

I stretch my hand, I just wanna ask

maybe, he will give me a mention

to whatever source the strength pours from.