Thinking……

It is much easier to say people are different that actually acknowledging the fact. My motto in life has always been ‘treating people the way I want to be treated’ and that is causing some philosophical problems for me.

Even if people are different, I believe, there are certain thing e.g behaviors in life that remains constant in every human. My personal experience with friendship has put me in some sort of dilemma as I question the essence of friendship and my assumed open-mindedness.

“doing that sounds okay to you?”

“yeah, why”

“cause i find it ridiculous and disappointing”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, that just the way I am…..I do the same thing with other friends!”

“and they have no problem with that?”

“no, everybody is different and that’s me”

“okay, right……….!”

what happens when what you seem to think is open knowledge in reference to friendship is actually not open at all? do you reevaluate or just forget the friendship? asking for a friend!

One and the Other

When men stop believing in God, it isn’t that they then believe in nothing: they believe in everything.

UMBERTO ECO, Foucault’s Pendulum

There is one and the other,

but the one is the other.

It is known that the one created

the other

Hence, the other is part of the one.

Yet, there are tales of believes in the one

but not the other.

In fact, the believe in the one is stronger

than the believe in the other.

It is best to know that there is the other in everyone of us,

but the one keeps us from the other.

Knowing the one and the other, brings understanding to chaos.

Bad-ass Joe

bad·ass
ˈbadˌas/
noun
1.
a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person.

“Let go!.” Davis yelled.

“It too late man, there is no saving him now that they have him.” Ceal replied knowing he was talking to deaf ears.

“Am not letting that bastard go this time. Let go!” Davis basically ordered.

“Listen, all we can do now is fucking pray and wait.”

“Am Catholic. I don’t pray, I just ask for forgiveness after.” he snared as he walked out. Well I guess we are the bloody cavalry then, Ceal thought to himself as he followed behind.

 

HOME; Making Friends

Every new friend is a new adventure….the start of more memories.
Patrick Lindsay.

As soon as I walked out of my last class for the day, I saw Carol and ‘the dolls’. I was immediately reminded to called my dad to further discuss my new-found idea of living off campus, but I had to go get lunch first because my stomach was not having this new diet streak of having water for breakfast. I turned the other direction to avoid tea parties, talk, but unfortunately my feet weren’t fast enough.

“Hey, grace”. Carol hollered.

“Heyyy…..Carol” I replied, trying to seem like I didn’t see her while walking out of the class. 

“Where you going..” she playfully sang.

“Am just going to get lunch” I really didn’t want her hearing my conversation with my dad.

“Cool, i was going to eat too.”

“What about your friends.” I pointed to the girls talking behind her.

“I just meet them in my class, not really friends”

“Don’t you wanna get to know them. You know, make new friends.”

“No, they were being mean to the prof, and kept talking about shoes and stuff.”

“You talk about shoes too.”

“Yeah but not that much.”

“Whatever let’s go.” I guess she was tagging along.

We got to the cafeteria which I have to admit is really impressive. It has four stations; Heal; the healthy food section., Dill Strauser; the burger joint, Castrol; the fancy place where chef’s make the food, and Express; The any-kind-of-drink you want place. This is one of the many cafeterias in the school. We went to Heal to get some salad from the salad bar, and I choose a spot at the back so I could talk without being disturbed, or being the disturbance.

“You only had peppers in your salad, that’s weird” Carol observed.

“I got some cucumbers too”

“No cheese, tomatoes or eggs.”

“She refused to melt the cheese, so lemme alone.”

“Who eats salad with melted cheese?”

“I think you mean people should eat salad with melted cheese.” I smiled. We ate our launch, and just chatted about new people in our classes for a while.

“I need to talk to my dad about getting a room off campus.” I conversed.

“What! why do you want to leave the dorm? Is it because of me? ”

“What! No! I just don’t like it. The walls are thin, and I have loud nightmares.” I said with a matter-of-fact face without realizing what i was saying. I do that sometimes, i just blunt out the first thing that comes to mind without giving it more thought.

“Oh.” she said quietly as she looked at me weirdly. Good, I though to myself, now you can stop trying to be my friends…..am all kinds of weird.

“O ooh, we can go apartment shopping together!” she announced cheerfully. I exhaled heavily. I guess this one is sticking.

“Probably, I have to talk to my dad first though.”

“yeah, of cos!.

**NOTE**

Remember to always have headphone on, so you can pretend you don’t hear people calling.

Give me a mention

Give me a mention, please.

This is the starting of my greatest

the still air, like we are frozen in time

and every sound a loud echo.

Holding my breath,

his walking, step of confident exhumes him.

One after the other. How? I ask myself

I stretch my hand, I just wanna ask

maybe, he will give me a mention

to whatever source the strength pours from.

HOME: The Dream (ep 2)

DREAM
noun
1.
a series of thoughts, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep.

“Hey g, are you alright?!” Knock! Knock! but I couldn’t move.

I felt like I was tied-down, but there were no ropes or chains on my body. Every single bone in me was scared. I was screaming and pleading in tears, yet there was nobody keeping me shackled. In fact, there was nothing around me; fourteen year old me was just walking down a road surrounded by desert-looking sand, in the far distance I see trees and mountains, and I keep hearing a voice saying.

“Open the box, and fill the leak. You don’t want to remember now” Repeatedly.

The worst feeling is fearing the unknown. When deep in your soul you are horribly scared of something or an event that hasn’t happen yet. That’s the state my dreams put me in every time. I wake up even more tired than I went to bed. Whenever it gets this bad it lasts for about two or three-month then I sleep with music playing in my room so my screams don’t bother anyone. I think my mum has an idea why I have music playing in my room in the middle of the night, but she doesn’t ask me to turn it off, nor does my dad. Ama, my seventeen-year old sister knows fully well why I have music playing in my room; we suffered almost the same past before we were adopted, but that a story for another day far, far away from now.

First, I gotta get out of this dream, and then deal with the noise coming from my door. To ease the hold on me, I pick a lock. I know it sounds weird, but it works sometimes. I draw a door in my mind, and concentrate really heard on trying to pick the lock with the key-shaped pendant that’s always on my neck. Usually, I never open the lock, but it helps jolts my mind into realizing than am just dreaming. Thankfully, it worked this time. I sat up on my bed, cleaned my eye, and concentrated on breathing evenly for a few seconds then walked up to the door.

“Hey, yeah, am fine.”

“but I heard screaming.” Carol asked worriedly.

“Was just a bad dream. but, am fine.”

“are you sure?”

“Yes. Thanks for checking on me, I really appreciate it” I said. I really do like her.

“It okay, you would check on me too, right? If you heard screaming.”

“Yeah, totally. Unless, it the other kind of screaming.” I wink. I saw Scotty, a course mate of ours going into her room last night.

“Oh, shut up, he didn’t stay the night” she replied with a smile on her face.

“whatever you say. lemme go freshen up and meet you at the lounge alright?” Fortunately, we have two classes in the morning together, so we just walk to class together.

“Yeah, okay.”

 

*Note to Self*

Begin searching for an apartment/room outside the school. Especially, a room with thick walls.