When men stop believing in God, it isn’t that they then believe in nothing: they believe in everything.
UMBERTO ECO, Foucault’s Pendulum
There is one and the other,
but the one is the other.
It is known that the one created
the other
Hence, the other is part of the one.
Yet, there are tales of believes in the one
but not the other.
In fact, the believe in the one is stronger
than the believe in the other.
It is best to know that there is the other in everyone of us,
but the one keeps us from the other.
Knowing the one and the other, brings understanding to chaos.
lately, I have been finding puns alot more hilarious than usual, so i wanna share my joy.
I wish i could watch my thoughts like a movie. Oh, the critics!
here is a swift pun for ya!
They all traipse in like bunch of high school student who are being sent to detention. Stan, the group coordinator welcomed everyone in his usually calm voice.
“Good to see you guys. Today we are going to start as usual, we will go around in turns summarizing how our weeks has been.” looking to his right, he said,
“Jamie, you wanna start.”
“No, thanks. I will pass!”
“It wasn’t a question.”Stan deadpanned
“Why the fuck did you ask me then?”he said angrily, “you be doing this shit thinking you cute,”
“Jesus!?, am just trying to be polite to your cranky ass, now quit your whining and tell us about your week.”
“Well, if you are so interested, I almost got fired this week.”
“why?, do you mind sharing ?
“No”
“Jamie you-”
“If you FUCKING tell me I have to…I will rearrange your stupid smile to the right proportion”
“Just talk!”
“During a busy hour at the grocery store…my fucking shift manager told me to announce something on the intercom, he knows I don’t like talking on that shit, so I added a little flavor to it.”
“What did you say?” Morgan asked
“Ladies and gentlemen, the meat section are now 70% off, but ask yourself, why would we do that?”
They all laughed. “That was just one person’s week, I wonder what the rest is going to be” Morgan thought to himself.
“Hi group, we have a new member. Morgan introduce yourself.” Stan, the group leader announced.
“Hi guys, my name is Morgan, and I am here because I recently realized that I am worthless. I mean, I have always known, but it just recently dawned on me.”
“Welcome Morgan. group welcome Morgan into the group”
“Welcome Morgan, if everybody was the same the world will be a boring place, some people are in this world to add to the value, and some are her to devalue. It gives the world a balance. So it okay to be worthless because that actually makes you very valuable to the world. We are all in this together, Worthless unite!!” they all chorused together.
“I can’t believe we still have to recite this shit! what is wrong with just saying ‘Hi Morgan’, and maybe a pat on the back, or even a hug. Do we have to sound like a bunch of elementary school groupies every time some fuckup decides to wonder in?” Mac retorted.
“McKenzie, we have to make our guest feel welcome and at ease. To feel that his fellow crazies are in here with him” Stan replied.
Mac stood up in anger , pointing his finger at the group leader and shouted.
“THE NAME IS MAC!!”
“That not what I have on my file.” Looking down and shuffling through some paper “Look, right there, it says McKenzie!” he replied in a feminine voice.
“Keep it up, asswipe!!” Mac threatened with a fisted hand.
“You better seat your ass down before I jam an easy spirit up it”, Major prompted
“Awesome, am in the mist of my kind” Morgan murmured with a smile.
While she was working she got a message on her screen telling her to go to the small conference room. She knew this was coming, in her opinion ‘unnecessary’, but nevertheless it was going to happen.
She logged out of her station and proceeded to the small conference room. They were at least eight shift managers in their orange vest that says “Manager”, like we can’t pick out fake in a crowd, and two people from human resources already seated in the small conference room.
“Great, the whole gang is here”, she whispered to herself.
The general manager of that building was also there, and he was the first to talk
“hey Simi, thanks for joining us”
“like I had a choice” she murmured
“this is not an ambush, we just want to talk”
“it sure does feel like it”
“how?”
“Look around, and say that again! I have got about eight manager surrounding me, and about five of which wanna take turns showing me a very narrow path in which to take a walk. Oh! and don’t forget the two HR buddies who just want to get this over with.”
“but you seem to be handling it well”
“what can I say, I hate bullies”
“we are not trying to bully you”
“yeah, and Nixon didn’t hide the tape! Listen, I don’t know what this is about, but I guess it had something to do with what I told Jim yesterday. I know what I said, and I stand by every word of it, if you have a problem with what I said please! by all means fire me, but make no mistake I will have my day in court.”
“Like I said simi, this is not an ambush. We heard what you said to Jim and we just wanted to go through your concerns. Despite what you might believe, we are not all against you”
“okay, i will humor you, just for shit and giggles”
“however much the buttocks are in a hurry, they will always remain behind“
“It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum”
GallopingCrazy 