Galloping Crazies

While she was working she got a message on her screen telling her to go to the small conference room. She knew this was coming, in her opinion ‘unnecessary’, but nevertheless it was going to happen.

She logged out of her station and proceeded to the small conference room. They were at least eight shift managers in their orange vest that says “Manager”, like we can’t pick out fake in a crowd, and two people from human resources already seated in the small conference room.

“Great, the whole gang is here”, she whispered to herself.

The general manager of that building was also there, and he was the first to talk

“hey Simi, thanks for joining us”

“like I had a choice” she murmured

“this is not an ambush, we just want to talk”

“it sure does feel like it”

“how?”

“Look around, and say that again! I have got about eight manager surrounding me, and about five of which wanna take turns showing me a very narrow path in which to take a walk. Oh! and don’t forget the two HR buddies who just want to get this over with.”

“but you seem to be handling it well”

“what can I say, I hate bullies”

“we are not trying to bully you”

“yeah, and Nixon didn’t hide the tape! Listen, I don’t know what this is about, but I guess it had something to do with what I told Jim yesterday. I know what I said, and I stand by every word of it, if you have a problem with what I said please! by all means fire me, but make no mistake I will have my day in court.”

“Like I said simi, this is not an ambush. We heard what you said to Jim and we just wanted to go through your concerns. Despite what you might believe, we are not all against you”

“okay, i will humor you, just for shit and giggles”

They speak in humor now

I really miss writing. With working and going to school full-time I haven’t had anytime to write, but here is a short piece I just came up with right now. It is a conversation between two people without the other present.

“hey glumly goose, what do you call a hunter who shots a deer with either hands?”

“a greedy sonofabitch?”

“ambidextrous!”

“ha ha, real funny.”

“hey, before we kickoff this whole shebang i just want to let you know that it is your job to throw yourself on my casket and weep at my funeral.”

“hold that thought, i just might go first, but i don’t want your tears all over my gold chrome casket.”

“hahaha…awwww… I have been hit. False alarm, still invincible!!”

“keep it up Rumpelstiltskin!, douche.”

atleast they converse in humor now.

 

 

Proverbs!! are the isshh

 

   “however much the buttocks are in a hurry, they will always remain behind

  African proverbs are just cool, and have a lot of hidden meaning.

    A wise words mixed with a little bit of sass always tickles my interest. Proverbs are not new to me, but recently it has been more fascinating. I’ve always found people who  say “listen to your heart” and those obnoxious Disney cartoon that give kids unfounded hope on how their heart is all they should listen too extremely ridiculous. So, if i ever ask for an advice, instead of feeding me with a pile of Disney related phrasing about my heart, just throw a proverb my way and i will be blissful in my confusion.

“Before You go out with a widow, you must first ask her what killed the husband”

“A child can play with its mother’s breasts, but not its father’s testicles”

“When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby”

“It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum”

“A goat’s frown cannot stop it from being taken to the market.”

Back! hopefully….


“I Wish I had time to do some leisure reading” I thought to myself as I was “supposedly” reading a text book in the 1442926112778library. I have been at it for three hours, and it didn’t seem like it was ending soon. You don’t need to posses the power of telepathy to know that I was not’ in anyway enjoying myself. After a paragraph or two I gaze off in oblivion. I was tired and board out of my brains, and my head was literally hurting. I had not read any book aside from school textbook in four month, and it was driving me real crazy. I looked at the stupid ‘Politics in America’ textbook that I was reading with so much detest. I engaged the textbook in a cordial, but hateful discussion with me doing most of the talking. It resulted to nothing. I still had to read the assigned chapters. Listen! when you start hating or talking to an inanimate object the crazy is real, and you need to give yourself break.

I don’t know what I was high on that made me think that I could go to school five days a week, and work second shift at the same time. Please, don’t be misinformed by my ranting above, I do like gaining knowledge and shoving it in the face of a particular pretentious uppity walking encyclopedia. Sarcasm aside! I do like  school and classes and I try my very best to be the better I can be. Working and schooling is very exhausting, and it leaves no room for leisure or enough sleep but i guess being busy all the time kept me very concentrated with my studies because at the end of the semester I got straight A’s.

Now that school is out I am ready to continue pouring out all the rubbish that comes to mind (edited, of course). So please indulge me  while am out and about.